2014: I’m Forever Changed

When I think back on the past 364 days, the theme that runs through it all: the last year has forever changed me.  For better or for worse, I am a completely different version of myself.  I’ve felt sadness I never could have imagined and happiness I didn’t know could exist.  People have made their entrances and exits and I’ve learned so, so much about what it means to love and respect.

Jessi Game
When the year started, you’d have found me over at What The Efff.  That space is gone, but all the posts can be found here, at Our Midwest Nest.

Craig and I headed to Lambeau for the coldest Packer game I’ve ever been to.  I helped re-home the sweetest German Shepherd, Max, to my dear friend Allie.  Finally, the day before I started my new job, I found out I was pregnant, but none of you would know that for quite some time.

February was a quiet time for me.  I lost my pregnancy and struggled to cope with what that meant.  I would ultimately learn that it meant I married a man so much stronger than I ever imagined.  I would learn that there were people in my life that didn’t belong there; but, it also meant that I would be reminded that I have some of the most incredible, giving, compassionate people loving me.

Confetti - What The Efff blog
I resurfaced and was ready to refocus my energies to something I could control – my fitness.  I began to heal and move past our loss and decided to share it here with you.  The strength I gained from other mamas pushed me to do that – and I hope just one person found that it helped.  Loss can be lonely and it can be hard to remember you aren’t alone.  During this month, I also spent a long weekend with my parent’s in Texas.  Time away from my day-to-day reality helped me gain a different perspective and I came back feeling much better.  On a lighter note, I also shared a really pretty birthday cake!  It’s equally as delicious, definitely worth trying – promise!

April through June went silent again.  On April Fool’s Day (oh, life is ironic) I found out I was expecting again.  Cue: immense amount of fear.  Let me tell you, pregnancy after miscarriage is stressful.  So stressful.

baby bump mwn
I resurfaced (again) in July with our happy news.  Because I went MIA for quite some time, I also shared a highlight reel to catch you up.  The month ended on a high note when I spent a week on my parent’s ranch in Texas and read to my heart’s content.

cinnamon roll - mwn
I treated you all to what might be my most favorite dessert, Raspberry Cream Cheese Pie.  Perfect for a summer BBQ!!  Craig and I also ventured to IKEA to furnish Bumpster’s nursery.  It was Craig’s first time in an IKEA and it’s safe to say he was impressed (especially with those dang cinnamon rolls!).

about mwn
This month was tough.  I talked about our Rainbow Baby in light of my first due date passing.  But, it ended on a high note, with Craig and I celebrating two years of marriage.  I’ve never been more thankful for him.

jessi eagle tower
I recapped our “babymoon” // anniversary trip to Door County.  Craig had never been and I had a blast visiting some of the places from childhood memories.  Our hotel was sketch as hell (thanks, hunny), but it was a great, great trip.  Our family was also showered with gifts at Bumpster’s baby shower.  Lots of people joined us, no doubt Bumpster (and his mama) were feeling the love!  Finally, I shared my Pregnancy Must Haves.  I purchased and tried things based off of blog recommendations, so I wanted to share my own!

This was the month we were really gearing up for Bumpster’s arrival.  I shared our Maternity/Family Photos, as well as our Woodland Nursery.  I was secretly hoping for a November baby.  Spoiler alert: I didn’t end up with a November baby.

Eddie - xmas photo
I got a little quiet again, but for good reason!  Edison Lawrence arrived!  I plan to share his birth story. (Another spoiler: it did not go as planned.  At all.  And I didn’t even have a flipping plan.)  I’m working on it, so hopefully that will show up tomorrow.  In other happy news, Craig also “okayed” my sharing of little Eddie here.  I wasn’t sure how I felt about it, but knowing Craig was comfortable with it got me all excited to share our little squish.  Stay tuned!

I don’t doubt 2015 will be incredible.  I cannot wait to watch Edison grow and change.  Motherhood is challenging, sure, but it’s also the most rewarding, joy-filled endeavor I’ve ever taken on.

Thanks for sticking with me over the past 12 months.  It’s sure been a doozy!  Happy New Year!


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